Sunday, July 12, 2009

Cheesy Bacony Beefy Jalapeno BBQ Sausage (don't try this at home)

Huh... so I had a couple back-logged cooking exploits I thought I was going to re-kick this whole thing off with, but I seem to have misplaced the pictures that would make this possible. Looks like I'm going to have to make do with what I've got and jump right into a more recent adventure.

Just a quick FYI - if I do find those pics we will have Corned Beef, Pickled Pork with Red Beans and Rice, and one other mystery post. If I don't find the pics we probably won't be seeng those for a while.

Anyway... onwards!

As the title suggests, I'm going to recommend you do not replicate or attempt to replicate what I did with what turns out to be a pretty gross endeavor. Not quite a disaster of the Tabastard magnitude (i.e. inedible), but not really one worth trying.

This was the first time I've invented my own sausage. Hopefully this will be the first of many. Hopefully the many to follow will be better than this one. With the ingredients and constitution of this sausage, only one name is appropriate: Cheesy Bacony Beefy Jalapeno BBQ Sausage. Sounds good, right? Wrong. Reasons for this failure may come to light as I describe the creation process. Also... I didn't have my camera handy, so took all pictures with my cell phone. Bear with me, here -- We're in the midst of a financial crisis.

Cheesy Bacony Beefy Jalapeno BBQ Sausage

-Juice of 1 lemon
-3/4 cup ketchup
-3/4 large onion, diced
-1 Tbsp butter
-3 Tbsp molasses
-2 Tbsp brown sugar
-2 Tbsp ancho chile powder
-2 Tbsp California chile powder
-2 Tbsp Mustard
-1 Tbsp Wocestershire sauce

-One block sharp cheddar, cubed (1/4"^3)
-2 nacho-style jalapeno cans
-1/2 lb good slab bacon
-1 1/2 lb beef chuck, ground
-3 lb pork shoulder, ground (see previous sausage post)
-hog casings

**A quick note: I moved recently, and in the process, lost my measuring instruments. Thus, all measurements are approximate. This is not the reason the recipe didn't turn out well.


Sweat onions in butter. Add all the other ingredients. Simmer for 10 minutes.

This was not bad for BBQ sauce, but not good for sausage.

So the theory here was to let the EWKR BBQ sauce be the seasoning for the meat. Instead of a bunch of spices making the sausage, I thought it would be clever to use the sauce. It may work in the future, but this could have been mistake number one. Mix everything except bacon.

(From left to right) Top: Beef, Pork, EWKR BBQ sauce
Bottom: Cheese cubes and Jalapenos

Allow to sit over night for seasoning to set in, Add bacon and mix. Prepare stuffing equipment.

Would you call this more of a cumulus or cumulo-nimbus formation of hog intestine?

Stuff the sausage.
I'm considering renaming this blog "Why I don't have a girlfriend." This picture can be the background.

So. Why was it not good? On paper, the Cheesy Bacony Beefy Jalapeno BBQ Sausage sounds perfect. There are a few reasons I've come up with:

1.) The BBQ sauce. Ketchup base for the BBQ sauce was a mistake. It made the whole batch taste like some kind of meatloaf. Next time (if there is a next time) I will try more of a chili sauce. No ketchup and no tomato. Just something nice and hot.

2) My cheap sausage stuffer. Since I use my meat grinder with a different attachment to stuff the sausage, the stuffing auger mashes ingredients up as it stuffs. This made the cheese blocks incorporate too much (not the melted pockets of cheese I envisioned), and the bacon to disappear completely.

3) The cheese. Melted cheese in there made things way too oily.

In summary, the Cheesy Bacony Beefy Jalapeno BBQ Sausage was more of a Mediocre Meatloaf sausage, and I do not recommend trying this one out.


katie said...

1. EWKR still reminds me of newark
2. Great new blog title
3. that is the trashiest saausage i have ever seen

craig said...

i agree with the previous poster...why are you making bbq sauce from new jersey? do you think there were too many flavors at once? maybe better to use one as a garnish?

Ben Dodson said...

Tubed Meatloaf is really not a bad idea. Especially when put on a stick.

Ted said...

Wow. why don't you just divulge the entire Meatstick business model while you're at it. Google is no doubt scrambling to launch a G-Sausagefest as we speak

craig said...

i think they already have's called a frat party

Ted said...


Ben said...

I meant on a stick horizontally. They'll never figure to do it v*******ly.