the Indefensible

Like Warren Buffet buying a jet, I really have no excuse for my prolonged blogabsence (I just made that word up) Blogatus? Blog-cation?

By my count it's been about a 5 month layoff. But.. the faithful Porkpile Follower community has clamored for updates and more meaty enlightenment. They've demanded more cooking adventures/follies/shameless recipe stealing, and who am I to disappoint the masses.

Clearly I can't guarantee any measure of consistency, but I'm going to keep trucking at my own pace and try to post something every once in a while when I feel like it if I can find the time ... maybe. Someday I might even make good on my promise to have either a non-meat post, or a totally non-cooking post. You just never know what's going to happen!!



Possible Reasons for the lag (with accompanying odds):

230,890:1 - I became a vegan and started cooking seitan sausages, couscous burgers, and fruit salads

11,408:1 - The rapidly expanding Porkpile follower universe came to include 3 high-ranking members of a publishing company, one of whom offered me a lucrative book deal (I'm not one to divulge numbers.. but let's just say it's in the 7 figure range). The last 5 months I have been writing non-stop.

11,507.5:1 - I became so sick of typing thoughtful, parenthetical asides, ellipses, and lists that I couldn't keep blogging ...(someday remind me to tell you about the 'creative essay' in high school I got a C on because I had too many parenthetical afterthoughts...)

11,407:1 - The economic climate has compromised the top 3 Porkpile sponsors, forcing me to seek government bailout money to fund the high-powered research and information gathering (not to mention countless man-hours) that go into each one of these posts. Thankfully, a grant was just... granted for a hefty sum of money that will allow operations to resume.

2,400:1 - My job is so intense I just don't have the time to write these insightful posts

27:1 - All of my time the last four months has been dedicated to intensive fantasy baseball research

4:1 - I feel like a jackass blogging other people's recipes that I've cooked 1-5 times and acting like 1) I invented it and 2) I'm some kind of cooking aficionado

5:2 - I've just been too lazy.